"Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that."
- George Carlin
Enter the Wigger. For those of you unfamiliar with the term, Urban Dictionary provides the following definition:
| A male caucasion, usually born and raised in the suburbs that displays a strong desire to emulate African American Hip Hop culture and style through "Bling" fashion and generally accepted "thug life" guiding principles.
Often characterized by his car, or "whip": usually an econobox modified with at least twice the car's book value in non-power producing modifications or an SUV with at least 5500 lbs. of curb weight. Traditional trucks can also qualify here, depending on locale (southern states' percentages are higher). All vehicles are also mandated to have at least 19" chrome alloy wheels, regardless of make. The typical wigger is also characterized by a strong desire to adorn gold jewlery (especially heavy gold chains) and athletic warm up suits. All equipment and clothing will be paid for by the parents of the individual in question, or the parents of said individual's "shorty" through the use of said shorty's credit cards.
A general disposition of "hard" will be displayed among other wiggers and to kids around their neighbohood (usually labelled a 'subdivision' or 'gated community' due to its mass produced housing develoment origins). This disposition will immediately be dropped and replaced by a more typical "white boy" disposition when in the presence of actual African Americans ( with exceptions: Those whose origins trace to the suburbs being the most prominant.).
|
|
|
|
|
The definition applies to the winner of a human being that strolled into the
back of our shop today. Around 5:30 everyday, the FedEx truck arrives to pick up any packages we have outgoing. The driver usually hangs out for a bit and shoots the shit because it's his last stop of the day. He's not in for 2 minutes before G-Unit Johnny comes strolling in the back door with a "Yo B, I'ma need you to move that truck." I had to do a double take, but this guy was undoubtedly white, wearing a white tank top and shorts three sizes too big for him (
Note: This is why a guy my height can't find clothes that fit.) The FedEx guy looks at him and explains he'll move in a minute. "I need you to move that shit now."
In a voice that completely failed to capture the ethnic background from whence it sprang, I say "Check yo self, son." Wigger's eyes focused on me with a bit of a puzzlement. "Yeah, dog, he's going to move his rizzide when he's done picking up these packages. Now get the fuck out." This seemed to frustrate the Wigger, but after what appeared to be a quick assessment of his situation, he let out a disheartened "aight" and stepped outside.
After the FedEx guy left, my boss told me that was kind of a stupid thing to do, he could have been armed, etc. I accepted my chastising, because deep down I felt good about it, and my boss laughed about it after explaining his concerns.
I hate wiggers.
5 comments:
You captured the type just right. And can I say not only do I hate wiggers, and I don't wanna sound racist, but I'm really sick of the whole hiphop culture right about now. I can't believe it hasn't run its course like most other genres of subsets of pop. The fashion hasn't really changed in like 15 years, the same low hanging pants thing, backwards or sideways cap, the walk and the stupid stroll. I saw a guy today, just so offensive to me that it was all I could do to hold my tongue. I muttered what I really wanted to tell him under my breathe. But it was something along the lines of, get real, you look like a total douchebag. Pick up your jeans, asshole, no one wants to see your underwear, trust me. No wonder you're fucking terminally unemployable. This gangster thug prison culture is poisoning the whole culture, and not in a good way.
This nutjob was adjusting his stupid baseball cap like every 10 seconds, every 5 seconds, twisting it this way and that, that stupid smirk on his face. And these type of jackasses are glorified in the mainstream media, because they know this crap sells, like holding up a mirror to these immature losers.
It's good that you stood up to the jackass. It's a stale act, this whole wigger thing. There needs to be a new Dirty Harry movie, or even a videogame, with wiggers as the targets. That would be righteous, and a big, big seller without a doubt. I'm outta here.
It's reasons like this that Chris Rock is one of my personal heroes.
Maybe he had black adoptive parents
Sure he did.
You need to stop steroetyping man. Your bullshit about the way he talks. Don't fucking say someone can't act a certain way because of the color of their skin. BTW anyone can be a jerk like that whether they're a wigger, preppy, or emo.
Post a Comment