Fun with Insomnia!

I know I'm not the only one who feels that there needs to be controlled breeding. In fact...there needs to be controlled dating. I mean, think about this. People have been going on and on about the over population of homes in the trailer parks and inner cities, and they're assuming rampant procreation is the cause. But...it has to start somewhere, doesn't it? Tonight, as I struggle with the concept that I'm probably not sleeping, I saw something. Something very disturbing. Two people, and it's a stretch calling them that...in the beginning stages of a relationship. This is the kind of relationship that Roman Polansky was thinking about when he came up with the ending of "Rosemary's Baby." The male, who we will refer to heretoforth as Lummox, is the standard muscleheaded oaf that was so grandly portrayed by the character Ogre in "Revenge of the Nerds." The female, who from this point on will be referred to as Ick, is your standard candidate for surly walmart cashier. Mental imagery all set? Perfect.

Now, here's the natural progression of things from this point. There's always some kind of dating ritual, even on a minor scale. In the average relationship, it's usually a few nights on the town, which, if everything works out, leads to a little of the ol PROTECTED in-out, in-out. After a certain amount of time, the average couple gets married, and when stable, has children. Now, in situations similar to Lummox and Ick, the courtship is usually short, laying between the "Gimme dat pussy now bitch" scenario or an evening of Steven Segal movies, Tony's microwave pizzas, and PBR. After which follows fornication. Now, it seems that the women that fit the same category as Ick tend to become easily impregnated. This results in an abnormal amount of children.

All of this ties back to one thing. The Origin. The meeting. The point where Lummox and Ick stared across the "Used Chewing Gum of the Stars" stand at the local flea market, locked eyes, and decided to, for lack of better term, get drunk and fuck. So, the key to preventing the overload of children that aren't getting the required attention from adults is to prevent these two from meeting. It's like, seeing the after effects of a plane crash, but being able to go back and prevent the pilot from drinking. My solution? Standardized testing and house arrest for those that don't pass. They will not be allowed to communicate with the opposite sex outside of the internet.

Ok, maybe my idea is somewhat fascist. And I apologize. But I really want my service to improve at Wal-Mart.