This day has really lost all meaning. It's all about jackasses getting drunk and blowing themselves up with chinese fireworks. (if you don't see the communist conspiracy here, you need to get your eyes checked.) And while we're all "oooooh"-ing and "ahhhh"-ing and "Pass me another PBR"-ing, does anyone aside from Nicholas Cage really appreciate what happened to make this country the way it is? We were the underdogs. The rebels. 13 colonies, an army made up of mostly farmers, going up against England, who was the strongest nation in the known world. And all of it hinged on one man. One man who stood up and made a difference. Mel Gibson. If it hadn't been for him being pissed off over Heath Ledger dying, America wouldn't be here today. So, I say this. Thank you, Australlia. Thank you for your sacrifice.
And let us not forget our country's greatest hero. Bill Pullman. A president who led us through difficult times, the destruction of major cities, and alien invasion. And through all this, he saved us all by sending Harry Connick Jr. (and his movie career) to his doom. God bless you Bill. *tear*
1 comment:
That was truly rousing. Your words make me want to eat seven hotdogs and punch a war protester.
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