Ok, I'll openly admit, I loved the Osbornes. But since they became a surprise success, it has opened up the costipated bowels of the television industry to start crapping out more of these 'inside the lives of has been celebrities' shows. Here's a look at the current or soon to be list of abortions available to be viewed by the halfwits. (My condolences if your favorite show is listed here. I'm sure there's a gun show somewhere that can help you ease your pain):

Britney & Kevin "Chaotic" - Smelling her has been status just over the horizon, Britney Spears and Kevin Spears (don't know his last name, but as he's the woman in the realtionship, technically his last name changes) hop on the celebrity tv bandwagon. I'm assuming her love of eating the souls of young girls is being edited out for content.

Chasing Farrah - Follow the life of a trashy old sexpot who still thinks she's 25.

The Cut - Tommy Hilfigers competition to enter his Nazi bootcamp

Dancing with the Stars - The most without a doubt retarded concept I've ever seen for a show. It's been #1 in the ratings for weeks.

The Gastineau Girls - Who the fuck are they?

Growing up Gotti - What better way to maintain plausible deniability in a families underworld activities than to have their lives televised for all to see.

Hit me Baby - Apparently they're competing for charity. Last time I checked, Vanilla Ice was a charity.

I Married a Princess - Catherine Oxenberg, her Hollywood husband Casper Van Dien...I believe their strapping down Alex now, my droogs.

I Want to Be a Hilton - Here's a chiuauah, a sheet you can form into a dress, and a video camera with night vision. Have a field day, ya dirty whore.

Knieval's Wild Ride - Watch as he consumes a ton of booze and pisses his life down the drain.

Kill Reality - You'd think this show would have some promise, what with the title, but no, it's the jackasses that were on reality shows before trying to prove they have more talent. You know, I believe there is a God, but this here is making me question my faith.

and the list goes ON and ON til you get to these 3 gems due to be rotting minds everywhere -

Hogan Knows Best - If the show includes groping other men, applying bronzer, bleaching hair, and flexing, then I guess the title is applicable.

Tommy Lee Goes to College - A study in the breakout of Hepititis C among college students.

and last but not least: Being Bobby Brown.

That's right folks. See what life is like behind all the glitz, the glamor, the media hyped glory. Bobby and Whitney SHOPPING and smoking weed. I can't beat my head against the desk enough. This shit is going to make Jessica Simpson's "is it chicken or tuna" moment look like sheer brilliance. I'm almost convinced her agent is behind this...