Some might say this is an easy target. It is. However, I'm not focusing on the expanse of Celine Dion's reign of musical terror that harkens back to the days of Disney soundtracks with Peebo Bryson, cluminating in her Hitler-esque domination of the music charts thanks to the Titanic soundtrack, and her current status as the new Las Vegas mainstay. No, Ms. Dion has committed a far more greater and savage act of audio-terrorism with her performance at the Divas Las Vegas show:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FONt47Z0KZg
That's right, ladies and gentlemen. She covered AC/DC's "You Shook Me All Night Long." For those of you that live in the South American rain forests in grass huts, "You Shook Me All Night Long" is a song full of thinly veiled innuendo essentially referring to the lead singers sexual exploits with an American woman, which is only properly belted out in the gravelly yowl and male machismo that is Brian Johnson's voice. Now, it may come as a surprise that this song has been covered previously by other female artists, such as Kelly Clarkson, Tori Amos, and most understandably Melissa Ethridge. But none has made such a Hindenberg-like disaster of the song as Celine Dion, who tainted it with her vile Canadianess and Singier-than-thou attitude. This is including the Apologetix Christian version entitled "You Booked Me."
Somewhere, deep in his subterranian lair, Peebo Bryson has seen this. He has seen and he is pleased. For decades he has watched as the reanimated skeleton that is Celine rise to untold pop fame and pop fortune. And he bides his time, knowing that this musical nugget is the beginning of Celine's inevitable decline, and he will rise again...
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6 comments:
Yeah, I saw somewhere that Celine is trying to reinvent herself as a rocker. Sometimes stuff is so bad it's good, and her Vegas schlockiness is what makes Celine head and shoulders above (below?) everyone else.
When she comes out with a hip-hop cover, that's when the authorities will have to step in.
Did you see where Wade Phillips is accusing Britney Spears of ripping off his daughter's dance moves? No shit. Her name is Tracy Phillips, she's really hot, and she dances at an LA club. (Here's her Website: http://raspberry.cogia.net/rg/index.shtml)
Anyway, Wade says Britney not only ripped off the name of Tracy's club (BLACKOUT) for the name of her album, but the new video rips off her dance moves. Talk about 6 degrees of separation!
If you want to keep going with those six degrees, apparently Tony Romo was completely turned off by an imprompteu lap dance given to him by Ms. Spears, as he's got loftier goals for women who aren't so terribly unclean.
Whoa! I actually had to watch that whole video. Those air guitar moves and hip-shimmies add a new dimension to Celine Dion. A newer, even shittier dimension. As Warden said, it was pretty good for schlock value. I certainly couldn't turn the video off (it was purely ironic enjoyment...seriously!...uhh...)
What was that thing singing with her?
That was short lived pop sensation Anastacia, who caused a stir a while back for blatantly showing off her c-section scar with her wardrobe choices.
I love when Dion shouts, C'MON GIRLFRIEND at one point in the beginning. Now, that's what rockers say during power ballads. At least that's how the focus group tested.
I'm pretty sure Angus Young killed himself after seeing this for the sole purpose of being able to roll over in his grave.
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